Have you ever wondered if dogs think? Well, of course they think, but do they think like we do and maybe talk to themselves? If we could listen in on their thoughts we might find they have a bone to pick with us! Let’s eavesdrop on Rover’s thoughts as he snoozes on the grass enjoying the dog days of summer.
Doggone it, it just ticks me off! There are so many rules I have to remember in order to be a good dog! My human gets so hot under the collar and scolds me when I forget. I’m determined to get a new leash on life by being the most pawsome dog EVER! Now, lets see...
1) The litter box is not a cookie jar.
2) I will not eat the cats’ food, before they eat it or after they throw it up.
3) I will not roll on dead things even though I like the way they smell.
4) I will not play tug of war with dad’s underwear when he’s on the toilet.
5) I will shake the rain water off my fur BEFORE I enter the house.
6) I will not drag my butt on the carpet.
7) Sticking my nose in someone’s crotch is not an acceptable way to say hello.
8) The cat is not a squeaky toy so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it’s usually not a good thing.
It’s pretty obvious that dogs don’t analyze things the way humans do either. Yes, it’s pretty far fetched but let’s pretend they DO wonder about stuff. Here are some of the things that might run through Rover’s mind:
* Why do people smell flowers but seldom, if ever, smell each other?
* If a dog barks his head off in a forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?
* When I get to heaven will I get to sit on the couch? Or will it be the same old story?
* Are there mailmen in heaven? And will I get to bark at them?
* When I get to heaven will I get my testicles back?
The lab reports are in: some of these one liners are pawsatively pawful! Since it is impawsible to be meloncollie and laugh at the same time, how about an offur you can’t ruffuse? If you’ll admit you laughed at least once while reading this, I’ll quit writing...
(All joke and one liners courtesy of obscure websites and various Facebook posts. All puns intended.)
Noah’s Hope Animal Rescue (and Thrift Store)
2601 Myrtle St.
Sioux City, IA 51103
Visit our Facebook page or website for more information:
Noah’s Hope Animal Rescue is an all-volunteer, 501(c)3 nonprofit corporation. We rescue the underdogs: the old, the sick and injured, the used-up by breeders, the forsaken and misunderstood. We nurse them, bring them back from the brink, and give them another chance. We believe they make the very best pets because somehow, they understand and are grateful.